SUICIDE SQUAD: THE MOST OVER-HYPED "SUPERHERO" FILM OF ALL TIME

August 11, 2016

 When the first teaser trailer was released for Suicide Squad, I was sooo fucking excited. Margot Robbie, mine and everyone's girl crush, had a titular role in the film and I couldn't wait to see her shine. Jared Leto, a new Academy Award recipient, was set to embark on what I would say is the most important role in the D.C. superhero stratosphere. Although the lineup for the rest of the film was so amazing it is unfathomable, no one really gave a shit about any other characters aside from Harley and the Joker because the trailers each centered around mainly Harley and the Joker. Needless to say, the film did not center around the Joker at all. Leto seemed to be making a glorified cameo in a movie about Harley and Will Smith's character, Deadshot, an average hitman whose superpower is good aim...? Yes, Deadshot is about as interesting as he sounds (which means not at all). 

Unfortunately, for the film's sake, Deadshot was the most likable, good-guy-to-root-for character. He was the negligent, irresponsible father to an annoyingly innocent daughter that he would do anything for (like go to jail and join a squad that shaves 10 years off his prison sentence).  Will Smith  brought his usual charisma and comedy to the killer which made it slightly more bearable. 

 

Amanda Waller, a completely nefarious, diabolical, and demonic bitch, is seriously not outside of Viola Davis' comfort zone. The only difference between Waller and Annalise Keating (How to Get Away With Murder) is that Waller is an Intelligence Operative and Keating is a lawyer. While evidently unlikable, it was very hard to understand what David Ayer's intentions for her were; sadistic anti-hero or the most vicious villain of all? She had a meeting with Batman for shit's sake...and everyone loves batman. *Cough cough NO ONE loves Ben Affleck as Batman, but EVERYONE fondly remembers Christian Bale's phenomenal take on the dark knight and misses it* 

 Waller assembles her team of "the worst people on earth." This list includes a hit man, a thief, a violent psychopath, a crocodile man, a witch, a flamethrower, and a man who can climb...? Honestly, I bet I know worse people from high school. Each super villain is paraded on the screen with a bland, two-second backstory that gave the viewer virtually no information about them. I honestly had to look up wtf "Slipknot" was and what he did because the film did such a terrible job with character development.

(Slipknot is this guy btw) ^^^

 

What is so stupid about Suicide Squad is that nothing actually happened.

 

In a nutshell, Waller informs some important peeps that she wants to form a group of bad guys who she thought could do some good. The important peeps are all like, "But how can you control such cray-cray, horrible criminals?" Waller responds that she has a lil toy. That lil toy is "the heart" of Enchantress, the most powerful of the bunch, and her heart controls her actions. If ya think about it, that isn't really a response as to how she can control 6 other villains. Regardless, the peeps buy it and go along with her plan. 

 

So, remember when Waller claimed to have control of Enchantress?...Turns out she didn't. Waller underestimated her and she was too powerful to be contained, so Enchantress goes AWOL, awakens her brother, and decides to create a weapon to destroy mankind. NBD. Meanwhile, the rest of the squad goes on an obscured mission to save Waller. The squad aborts mission and hits da barr...Harley makes some killer drank and then they decide to help stop an obviously unbeatable opponent, Enchantress. The Enchantress had real powers unlike anyone else (other than El Diablo with his fuego) on the squad and really was no match for a bunch of average criminals. Surprisingly, the "heroes" persevered and stopped the Enchantress.  The end. 

 It's such a shame that the movie sucked because Margot was such a phenomenal Harley. She brought fun and glee to the former doctor and looked damn good while she did it. From what I could tell, Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a smart, educated, and drop-dead-gawgeous psychiatrist. What the actual fuck would she be doing falling in love with the actually disgusting, disgraceful Joker. The film gave no explanation of what attracted her to the vulgar character, how she suddenly turned crazy, and why she called mistah J, "Puddin." It was confusing and downright frustrating to watch.

 

PS: I've seen more shots of Harley's ass than I did of actual action in this movie. 

But the winner for the most disappointing and underwhelming aspect of the movie goes to...the Joker!  I hate to say it, but Jared Leto was the worst. Joker. EVER. Honestly, I have no idea why he would want to take up the role after Nicholson, Hamill, and Ledger all had LEGENDARY renditions of the character. My personal favorite being Heath Ledger's sinister Joker, I was frankly insulted by Leto's performance; it was overdone, absurd, and worst of all, it wasn't scary. The Joker made me uncomfortable and not in the way it is supposed to. I cringed with every word and every appearance Leto made with his pointless face full of makeup and out-of-place grillz. I don't know if it was post-Oscar cockiness, but his decision to play the Joker was a huge mistake. 

 

Catch Suicide Squad in theaters NOW!

 

I mean, if you want.

 

If it's rainy and your bored and shit. Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend it considering it's a muddled, over-produced mess of a film. Prepare yourself for a few cheap laughs, pretty colors, KILLER MUSIC and mild action. It wont be the worst movie you ever see, but it's CERTAINLY not the best. 

 

Stay evil doll faces!

 


 

 

 

 

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